I need you…


Surrounded by your tears and I have already been swallowing mine

I can’t even swim away

This pain has taken me under

and it seems no one really notices me sinking

Throw me my lifeline please…

Out of breath

I’ve outrun myself, at least tried to…

because on this cold floor, I sit with a pain in my chest gasping for help with what is left of me

I am out …of everything…499478_1379767586443_246_179


Please stop rolling film…

I am out of energy trying to keep up appearances

I cannot continue without my mojo –maman

I am tired of pretending to smile when the hurt pounds behind my eyes

Trying to stay in character while a part of me is left on the other side...of the fence

Stop this pretense-

Turn of the lights…Director, CUT! THE SHOW IS OVER DAMMIT!


Since October 9, 2015

Break these walls!



I’ve been driving all night to see you

The days seem longer and the clock moves slower-

Like the universe takes pleasure in throwing challenges between us

I’ve bitten all my nails to the point they bleed like my heart does

But even when I cry, I cry only because I am yet to see you.

My heart feels like it’s going in a straight line but my head runs in circles

So many voices shouting negatives, positives, pity, anger and pretense

But I only hear you-

You telling me you need me and my heart saying “ditto”

All it takes is for someone to truly love you so that they can feel lost without you near, but unfortunately I am on the only one who feels this…and worse…I cannot do it alone

So who will break the barriers between us? because I need you

Close enough

Passing by where you are and wondering if you can feel me near

It sounds silly but just being as close as the gate means something

It’s better at the gate than not knowing where you are

But even though I try to comfort myself with imaginations

It will never be the same as it was on September 29th  when I had you in my arms…and we were very happy

I miss you, so bad, it hurts.


Guarded or locked away from me?

Secured or forbidden?

I would do anything to touch you like before

…before thornes surrounded you

Now it’s bittersweet to see such beauty but told I cannot touch

Not to touch something that is mine…

I’ll touch you regardless of any barrier they put up around you

Because not touching you…hurts even more…

Call to battle

I will sound the signal and call to battle my mightiest warrior to fight for me

I will humble myself and watch from a distance the victory I am to receive

Why should I worry about a fight when I have an army of soldiers ready to stand on my behalf

The enemy won’t even see it coming and even if  he does, he cannot escape it

because when my soldiers put on their Armour, led by my crowned knight

There is no losing for me