Ode to a breaking heart

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It’s the sort of power that clips a bird’s wing and removes the air from their feathers ending their feeling of freedom

The sort of power that washes away memories and pain when your heart is breaking

The sort of power that compels and leaves you vulnerable

The sort of power that determines when you smile and decides just how long you cry

It’s the power of love

And sometimes the most dangerous thing is when the person with this power has no clue that they have it…

Go on and cry now…

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Missing treasure

It’s a familiar feeling what you do to me,

I have felt this before-

Many times,

The lump in my throat, tears gathering behind my eyes

while I lie to the world and fake my smiles.

It’s almost a routine to me now.

After all the shimmer, at the end of the quest, it was only a fool’s gold.

treasure-chest

 

Break these walls!

 

3d-brickwall

I’ve been driving all night to see you

The days seem longer and the clock moves slower-

Like the universe takes pleasure in throwing challenges between us

I’ve bitten all my nails to the point they bleed like my heart does

But even when I cry, I cry only because I am yet to see you.

My heart feels like it’s going in a straight line but my head runs in circles

So many voices shouting negatives, positives, pity, anger and pretense

But I only hear you-

You telling me you need me and my heart saying “ditto”

All it takes is for someone to truly love you so that they can feel lost without you near, but unfortunately I am on the only one who feels this…and worse…I cannot do it alone

So who will break the barriers between us? because I need you

Close enough

Passing by where you are and wondering if you can feel me near

It sounds silly but just being as close as the gate means something

It’s better at the gate than not knowing where you are

But even though I try to comfort myself with imaginations

It will never be the same as it was on September 29th  when I had you in my arms…and we were very happy

I miss you, so bad, it hurts.

Overlooked

Her flame lights the seas, she guides lonely hearts home

She stands there, alone, in the dark as a muse for you

Every pain she feels is not her first time, but she repeats these harsh realities for you

She knows how it feels to be lonely, what it means to be ignored and heart broken but she risks it all to learn how to love you

Even in the roughest weather, she stands there still, cold and battered, guiding you home with her flame

She is your light house…even though she knows that on your good days, your brighter days, when you no longer need her, you will overlook her-

She stands here still, in the middle of the seas, waiting until you need her light again

What my eyes can’t see

It would tear me apart for a while, not sure how long but for sure it would have an impact

Maybe some days will bring heavy tears and when I pass places where we made memories I’d feel the blues

Maybe one day, I will weirdly feel like I made a mistake and be tempted to change my mind

Maybe it just won’t be as easy as those songs make it out to be

Maybe I would never ever really stop loving you

But…

I will remember why I had to do it…and after a long wait, maybe I would find the person who you were training me all this time to truly love…

Under my Christmas tree-For Samuel Morant

I wish I could wake up and see dad under the Christmas tree

That maybe the heavens returned him for Christmas

A part of you feels like it’s life and you are expected to understand and move on

But when I look at the pieces I see parts of him everywhere

Like today, how do I put the pieces together when today is his birthday?

Torn between missing him, being strong for the family, feeling like a piece of me is missing and still trying to be happy for the festive season

but its a Christmas without dad,

But I express it a day at a time, one tear at a time

Remembering to make every moment special

So in honour of him I remind all of us to not delay love

Let love flow everyday, tell relatives & friends how you really feel as often as you can

because its the worst feeling to have so much to say today that you should’ve said yesterday

I wish dad was under my Christmas tree

but I take comfort in knowing that on my Christmas tree, the angel on top will be filled with pieces of Dad.

In honour of Samuel Morant & the Morant family

Departure 2

First mom and now you

This is becoming too familiar

Airports are now my worst fears

They have been known to kidnap the ones I love the most

It’s been a little too frequent that I am to watch while you disappear behind those gates

And even though I share your joy in your accomplishments

Reality is it never makes it easy to watch you leave,

even if its to watch you walk into another room…so imagine another country

 

 

For Gerald: Just hurry up and come home